Sarah's Blog

Being a Trans Woman isn't just about taking Hormones and a new Wardrobe

2013-05-03T21:18:13Z

There is a heck of a lot more to it than that!!! It's a whole new way of thinking and a lot of adapting!! First you have to put up with a lot of people who may shun you, hate you or simply just disagree with you!! You have to behave like a woman and just be yourself by leaving behind many man traits you have had in the past. You have emotional change and you have to be strong to face all the adversity that women have to go through each and every day! It's not about having surgery to fix the parts from male to female.

You have to be able to hold back anger and be able to inspire or lead! Hobbies and Interests may change! There are changes with patience, goals and/or determination! You may even be gay or lesbian like in my case...have always been attracted to women but I also felt that I needed to be female myself.

Transition doesn't happen overnight, it's not magic! You may or may not have support from friends or family...job(s) may be affected. There is a name and pronoun adjustment from people around you not just yourself.

Being Transgendered is more than being 'brave' it's about being 'strong' you have to face all these adversities I've listed above and more that I may not even have thought of. You may have to change your social and local gatherings! And you may even have to put up with public lifestyle because you aren't afraid of who you are and this may even happen even more where you are contstantly in the limelight like Chaz Bono depending on how far you are open with it.

Plus there is every other affliction or problem you may have in your life..could be anything from Psoriasis to ADD!!

Let's take a random 100 people out there and see if any of those people could possibly go through what Transgendered go through! Most wouldn't last a week let alone a day or two!! It's getting easier these days to be able to be Transgendered but it's still not a picnic..there is still a long ways to go!! Because people are still committing suicide because they feel they don't belong or are in the right body which includes family and friends shunning them!!

RIP Jeff Hanneman

2013-05-03T21:09:08Z

I'd like to take the time to give my condolences to the thrash band Slayer and also to the friends, family and everyone who has met or knows Jeff Hanneman in passing! Jeff was a pioneer that started a huge movement in the 80's alongside Metallica, Anthrax and Megadeth...while pop was going strong and metal was going into a hair metal direction there were a few bands like Slayer that took it one step further..they took what made Black Sabbath so great and went heavier! They were influenced by punk bands as well! They didn't hit the mainstream like Metallica did but they continued to stay heavy throughout their career so far...they have created some of the heaviest riffs ever created and to me are the a crossover to death metal but maintaining the thrash as well... Jeff Hanneman truly was part of this legacy!!! He wrote much of the music and was a founder of the band! Let's hope Slayer can continue the music and write the next album in memory of Jeff!

Gay people are people too!! Don't blame the media

2013-05-02T15:54:54Z

I truly believe that one of the biggest reasons why gay people are afraid to come out in sports is because there are so many fans who are putting fear into the players...such as stereotyping, making it sound like that a gay player is leering out at the person next to them in the show or locker room which is not the case... same with the military... gay people are not pedophiles and are not someone compared to the boogeyman.. There is nothing going on that anyone needs to be afraid of... gay people have lives just like anyone else.. The reason why gay people are coming out of the closet and the media is covering it is because so many gay people are still being fired and discriminated against for the wrong reason..some people are saying..if you are gay, keep it behind closed doors you don't need to let everyone else know about it.. well this wouldn't be the case if gay people weren't being treated differently than others.. there is nothing wrong with two gay couples holding hands walking down the street. And if it's that you are offended that two gay couples are making out in public then the same thing should be said about straight couples... You can't blame the gay people for making out and then turn around and not say anything about straight people..it's the same thing with gay marriage.. If straight people are getting married and getting divorced at a 50% rate then you can't turn around and say gay people can't get married either! Don't blame the media for all of this coverage of gay people..they have every right to have coverage of this...And to those who don't think Jason Collins is a hero..well that's your opinion but he is..just like Jackie Robinson...If you have never walked a mile in someone else's shoes then you literally can't speak of who is or who isn't a hero!

Please help my friend.. @Debbyb617Baker (Debby Baker)

2013-04-23T16:14:28Z

This is what Debby Baker wrote on http://www.gofundme.com/Mickeys-ride I'm a widowed mom of an autistic child. The money is for transmission & hydraulics repairs to clear codes to pass inspection other repairs including 2 new tires.

I am willing to help anyone who needs it..I too am reaching for goals and I know paying it forward is important!

Once again her twitter account is.. @Debbyb614Baker

Thanks,

From Sarah Brouns

I understand Mayor Bloomberg's 'soda ban' but I'm still against it

2013-03-12T01:10:46Z

First of all..I commend Howard Stern for what he talked about on his show today regarding the soda ban that the judge ruled against. Yes Howard is right..we shouldn't have to pay for someone else's health issues because people are getting sick and dying from junk food. However, I still think that at the end of the day it's still a personal choice and plus I think there are things that are backwards. First of all I still don't understand why a soda or cheeseburger is only a $1 but yet a healthy salad is $5 or more! No wonder America has an abundent amount of obese people...the healthier the food the more expensive it is! I'd be happy to get a salad every day at McDonald's if it was cheaper..but for some reason they want to make junk food cheaper. 2nd of all, another issue is that people are going out to fast food and buying junk food every day! Things like McDonalds for me growing up was a treat on an every day 3 course meal!! Please don't give me this I don't have time to cook some food before goig to work or school! You always have time to make something!!! It doesn't take more than 3-5 minutes to make a sandwich..there are other things you can do to make food that doesn't take long..buy some carrots and cut them up! Make a dish before going to bed..you can even throw some ingredients into a crock pot before going to bed and then when you wake up for the new day..the food is ready and you can take it too work...I'm so sick and tired of hearing people say I don't have time! You always have time!!! I think people should be able to go to the movie theater from time to time and buy a large soda..I mean come one..even I grew up doing that. People either need to start excercising more and more responsibility with not going to fast food every day and eat at home plus they need to start changing the prices of junk food vs. healthy food!

Also maybe instead of charging just $1 for a soda start charging a lot more! I would rather people dig through their pockets for a large soda then to ban them!! I mean it's a personal choice for someone to have a large soda..maybe start charging $7 instead... sure making the price of large soda very expensive is kinda extreme and may even cost the soda companies money but people will still find a way but it may make people make some smarter decisions...

I'm so excited about my future!

2013-03-05T03:36:38Z

OMG! Found out some good news today during my therapy session.. My therapist told me that one of her clients is willing to allow me to sit in to be a co-facilitator..so in a way I'm going to be a life coach while my therapist has her therpy session.. This will be another step getting closer to reaching my dream and goals. The fact that I can help another person just thrills me.. This of course has been things I've been talking about for quite some time already. I of course will not ever reveal anything private but if I can be like a life coach/ an unofficial type therapist without being a therapist it just means that I can gain more confidence and help another person with being happier.. Not only will I be able to help the person that is in a therapy session but this will help me as well..who knows where this will lead me..one step and one person at a time is what truly matters :)

Jennifer Lawrence, you are amazing! Please stay who you are! :)

2013-03-01T13:53:20Z

Today Jennifer Lawrence has become one of the best new actresses out there..she seems to be able to really shine and act with the best of them.

Jennifer Lawrence, I adore you and you are inspiring! You're just starting your career at the age of 22 right now plus you just won the Academy Award for best actress in a movie. I've seen your performance so far in 3 movies.. Hunger Games, Silver Linings Playbook and Winter's Bone.. I'm definitely happy and want to see more of your movies in the future both already made and still to come. But as someone who appreciates the arts and someone who truly cares about people in this world..I encourage you to keep your head strong and remember where you are today. So many people have either let the pressures of fame or outside influences get to them. I know you are a srong woman and actress but that can easily unravel overnight practically. Am I a fan? Yes. But I'm also someone who has seen bad things happen to so many people for whatever reason.

I hope as long as you enjoy acting that you have a long and successful career. Be sure that you know that you will always have people who support you and adore you! I have gone through so much in my life already that I can't afford to throw away everything I've accomplished just to give in to either non supporters or any kind of influence that may damage my goas and dreams. You are a shining star Jennifer Lawrence and even if you hadn't taken acting as a career you'd still be a shining star. I want you to own your moments in life and continue to show the world what your made of no matter who easy or difficult things get. I've finally been able to do that in the past couple of years and I'm already 38 almost 39.. I finally realized who I am and what I need to do as a person..it's still going to be a long and difficult road ahead of me but at least I didn't wait until it was too late. I finally feel like I'm living my 2nd life now not just because I'm a transgendered woman but also because I'm finally happy and can truly be myself by pushing myself and being positive.

I don't know if this blog will ever reach you Jennifer but I know that as long as I am true to myself and never give up on anything I aspire to do..anything is possible..just like Silver Linings Playbook..I may have a chance at that Silver Lining :)

Keep your head above water Jennifer and stay strong! Remember the people who love you and your career will never die!

An overreaction which really disappointed me

2013-03-01T13:23:32Z

Something happened a few days ago that has been on my mind but I feel I must get in the open and help people understand what it's like to be transgendered.

Someone who I thought was a friend overreacted regarding a conversation I had. A few days ago I was having a conversation with a friend, asking how she was doing. She said she was on her monthly which was painful and she was glad it was just about over.. I had said that I would gladly have her monthly instead of her and have the bone strucure along with everything else that a woman has so I would finally know what it's like to be a woman. She completely overreacted and disappointed me. I wasn't upset as I was hurt even after I tried to reason with her I was told that I demeaned her and every woman that has to go through that monthly process.

Well I didn't respond to her personally anymore but I did tweet about somethng that she fails to understand whether she says she was my friend or not and that is that she may think I don't know what it's like to have a monthly but she fails to undersand to know what it's like to be transgendered. And this morning I thought about it even more and I have something else to add to that... She has a burden that she has to go through once a month for about a week...I have to go through this burden for the rest of my life, every day, every week, every month, every year, and every decade until the day I die.

I have lived with the fact that I wanted to be female since 1993..and that was only the year I realized but deep down inside I probably have lived with that pain a lot longer without even fully knowing what I needed to realize. Then from 1993 to 2009 I struggled with soul searching and research to figure out what I was going to do with the rest of my life as far as being female being born male that is.

There are so many people out there that commit suicide because either they get turned away from loved ones and friends being transgendered or just struggling to figure out if being the opposite sex is truly the person that they need to be.

I would never demean a woman for what she has to go through every month..but at the same time..I will never ever fully know what it's like to be woman because certain things will never be changed for me and no matter how happy I am and how far I will or have come..there will always be an underlining pain that all transgendered people will have to live with for the rest of their lives that no man or woman who is happy in their own skin can never understand!

When I said that I would gladly have a monthly just to know what it's like to be female...I was in reference to Data of Star Trek: The Next Generation or Pinnochio and/or David from the movie A.I. I even tried to explain that to my friend at the time but I was told that it was a horrible thing to say and that the conversation needs to end right there.

I will never ever ever ever apologize for bringing that conversation up. Why? Because again..I'm transgendered and I have a pain no matter how deep I keep it..it will always be there. I can never fully enjoy all the apsects of what it's like to be a woman..and to be shot down and told that I demean women or her completely through me a suprise but at the same time this is something that has inspired me to share with the world because so many people do not understand what it's like to be transgendered even if they say they do.

Yes I get it..the monthly is painful...but at the same time without it there would be no children to bear...It's a disgusting process but it's also the natural cycle of life...that biological women have to go through... women are shaped differently than men..women think differently than men..and women go through different experiences than men... guess what..not only will I not ever fully understand what it's like to be a woman but I also have to live with being partly male and have to deal with being transgendered for the rest of my life..it's like Scarlet Letter.

So I ask everyone out there..was I wrong to say what I did when I was just being innocent and letting someone know that even though I'm happy with who I am that I would love to wish for more? Or did I completely miss the boat and just not have the same dreams that other people have? Demeaning women is not part of my vocabulary..And if I truly did demean a woman I would definitely own up to it..but in this case I know I didn't deman her or any other woman on the planet. I am happy in my own skin but I'm also in transition for the rest of my life and that is a heavy heavy burden that I'm not sure everyone will understand. Am I stronger person being transgendered rather than being biological female..Probably because now I'm seeing things from both sides but that still doesn't mean I have to like it...

Dear Rebbeca Marino, don't give up please!!

2013-02-22T09:52:15Z

Dear Rebbeca Marino-

I hope this blog finds your way.. I am so sorry that there are so many people in social media that are attacking you for one reason or another. Being Transgendered I know what that is like but in the past few years while being on social media myself I've found a way to ignore those so called haters, cyber bullies or whatever else you may want to call them. Some people have told me that I spend way too much time on Twitter but I have found that it was a tool to help me understand what it takes to stay strong and keep going with my goals and dreams. In the past 3 years I have found myself overcoming many things including divorce, transitioning and even cyber bullying. I also have found myself achieving more goals little by little because I'm becoming more and more comfortable in my own skin. I also take things on my own pace by making sure I'm not overwhelmed. There have been times that I wanted to quit my goals and the things that I'm going after but at the end I realized that how would I be able to accomplish what I want most if I give up.. I always tell myself and get reminded by other people that I have come a long way and even though I have a long way to go still that compared to where I was, it's a huge distance of a step in the right direction that I want to be.

I've finally realized that I need to be the best person I need to be and just be myself no matter who out there is going to dislike me. Not everyone is going to appreciate what I've done or who I am but I know that there are enough people out there that will appreciate me because I'm not being someone who I'm not. I know that there times that I wasn't being myself and that includes before I transitioned. Finally being a woman or Trans woman has been the best thing I could have ever done because now I'm fully happy and I don't have all these things running in my head making me feel like I can't be happy or do what I want to do. Transitioning has opened more doors for me including wanting to give back and help people such as you! I have always enjoyed making people happy and helping others who may have problems and/or issues.

The point I'm trying to make is that if you give up now you may not know how happy you really are down the road...it can be so easy to give up and not continue to follow through with what makes you happy but then you may find yourself wondering the rest of your life what might have been. If tennis is truly what makes you happy then continue to play...but if you give up that talent make sure it's the right thing to do for yourself not because someone else's influence or because people are going to give you a hard time.. there will always people out there that may never like you..as I read on twittter once.. Jesus only had 12 followers while Hitler had 10's or 100 of thousands of followers... Be the person you need to be by being happy not the person for the wrong reason.

I am by no reason perfect or don't act like I don't have flaws..I do have my own issues but giving up is not one of them...neither should you..you have been given a talent and I really truly believe that you shouldn't give up on them..you have people who care about you and love you. I'm not perfect or even a therapist but I do care about people in this world especially who inspire me..you are one of them because you are living your dream..I'm just finally doing something about mine and I know that I still have a long way to go but I'm going to keep on going and keep fighting by not letting anyone stand in my way or tell me that I'm not worth it..Please don't give up! I hope these words help but they are from my heart and if there is anything else I can say or questions to be answered I'm here!

Don't mess with Natalie Maines, she has inspired me with my life as well :)

2013-01-14T23:26:20Z

Not Ready To Make Nice by the Dixie Chicks is such an inspiring song that it has such life on it's own... I feel like my life is just like in that song..I live my life for my choosing for how I feel I need to be fulfilled not for anyone else. I am going to have people tell me that I'm wrong for doing this or that I'm an idiot for doing that..but at the end I am happy for me! I'm not going to apologize or live my life just because anyone thinks I should...What kind of person would I be as an INDIVIDUAL to have a life of FREEWILL if I constantly lived my life for the way other people want me too? I have been give the gift of life..some Christians think that God doesn't make mistakes and that I should live my life the way I was born...Well what good what that do if I lived my life in fear, in doubt and in confusion..isn't confusion a sin after all? I mean what good would it do if I continued to live my life by worrying or thinking that I should have done this or that. I'm not here to on this planet because of someone else's rules I'm here for my life to be happy to serve happiness for people and cheer them up..I don't know if there is a God or not but I can't believe that everything in the universe is just mere coincidence..everything happens for a reason..it's my calling from an unknown power in the universe to do some good in this world whether people want to agree or not.

Those who don't agree need to figure out their own path in this universe..those who do agree are people who aren't normal but rather living their own life and found a purpose to be happy...I'm glad there are so many people on this planet that are not normal but are happy and content to coexist and live for or around others..The gift of life I no longer take likely and I'm going to continue to take the world by my hands and do what I need to do that makes everything feel right or has Waylon Jennings once sang.. "Whatever Gets You Through The Night"

That's the way everything should live just like that song and just like Natalie Maines and the Dixie Chicks with "Not Ready To Make Nice" I should have to justify myself or do anything that makes anyone ELSE happy but only do what makes me happy to do what I need to be happy for myself which includes doing great things for other people.

I'm not going to stop no matter what anyone else thinks, says or whatever..it's my life not anyone else's if you have a problem with it, tough cookies..I won't stoop down anyone's level..I forgive people but doesn't mean I have to do what they tell me or fail to achieve what my heart desires!